yesterday at school..my friend asked me about something strange that i didnt want to write here (lol)
it's about my feeling
she's kinda like good angler that made me tell to her about my feeling.
eventually i write lil conversation with her, here.. just lil part
:)
friend: do u love him?
me: no. no for now.
friend: hahaha. so u loved him before now.. lol
me: maybe (smile)
friend: why dont u love him now? hate him?
me: i never hate him. hahha
friend: tell me more, anne
me: well..i just didnt wanna waste my time. i felt my feeling was useless. so, why i still keep my feeling. im killing my feeling now. and..consider of me, my feeling to him was not umm..such of crush or love, maybe just -something different-, yeah i felt something different, no more..
friend: how if he said love to you?
me: (smile) that's my pleasure
and then..we laughed together.
friend: i beg sure for how long u can forget him.. haha
me: lol. i didnt have any plan to forget him. i'll neve forget him. i just wanna kill my feeling. lol.
-my feeling to him isn't right-
how fool i am.. :'(
im gonna be crazy
haha
i took exam to go to university..and i choose Brawijaya University
that university made me remember about my "unbelievable, unforgetable but it should had be forgotten already.." experience, approximately last year..
the story began when strange boy came to my house..he's son of my dad's friend.
came from jakarta -capital city of indonesia- in order to study in Brawijaya University. omg -__-
i remember clearly, after i took shower in the evening..my mom said to me, "Dek, lets dinner outside with dad's friend" .. I, as the girl who loves eating too much, certainly said "YESSSH!!" loudly and happily :P
we'd dinner in famous roasted chicken in my hometown..
after that, i opened my wardrobe..confused about what kind of clothes i'd wear.
suddenly..my room lamp's off. oh my gosh! blackout..power off(well.i dunno how i should say 'lampu mati' in english) , i heard my dad (he's such of temperamental dad) shouted to me (loudly) "An!! what are u doing in ur room?! come on quickly" .. huh.
i grabed a pink t-shirt from my wardrobe, of coursely in the dark room without bulb. I like the pink t-shirt..it has 5 buttons from top to the middle of the tees.
i was kinda like blind person when changing my clothes..coz of the darkness. i touched the upper button, "oh it's buttoned up already" ..then i run to car.
me, my mam, my dad, a couple of my dad's friend, and their son would go to have dinner. -let me call the son as 'boy' esp in this post-
and..
my mam and the boy's mam asked me to have seat on the backpart of my car..with the boy. just me and the boy. -__-
i'd never met the boy before..but fortunatelly he's friendly and has so many topics to talk. phew.
we're on the car for about 30 minutes,,
then..we had dinner together.
we talked much (my parents told about me, and boy's parents talked about him..etc -__-)..we laughed..my stomach's full and i's happy :D
suddenly, i looked at my pink t-shirt, OH MY GOD!!
i was seeing that just the most upper button had already buttoned up. the others're not! wth wtf..i was gonna cry. mama~~
THEN..
on the way to back to my home..
i sit still with the boy..i prefer keep silent.. took a bow. just be silent.. so embarrasing. he talked to me and asked something but i was too shy to answer.
-___-
clumsy anne
now..he studies in brawijaya university take dentistry.
i wish i'd never meet him there.
huwang.
haha
i took exam to go to university..and i choose Brawijaya University
that university made me remember about my "unbelievable, unforgetable but it should had be forgotten already.." experience, approximately last year..
the story began when strange boy came to my house..he's son of my dad's friend.
came from jakarta -capital city of indonesia- in order to study in Brawijaya University. omg -__-
i remember clearly, after i took shower in the evening..my mom said to me, "Dek, lets dinner outside with dad's friend" .. I, as the girl who loves eating too much, certainly said "YESSSH!!" loudly and happily :P
we'd dinner in famous roasted chicken in my hometown..
after that, i opened my wardrobe..confused about what kind of clothes i'd wear.
suddenly..my room lamp's off. oh my gosh! blackout..power off(well.i dunno how i should say 'lampu mati' in english) , i heard my dad (he's such of temperamental dad) shouted to me (loudly) "An!! what are u doing in ur room?! come on quickly" .. huh.
i grabed a pink t-shirt from my wardrobe, of coursely in the dark room without bulb. I like the pink t-shirt..it has 5 buttons from top to the middle of the tees.
i was kinda like blind person when changing my clothes..coz of the darkness. i touched the upper button, "oh it's buttoned up already" ..then i run to car.
me, my mam, my dad, a couple of my dad's friend, and their son would go to have dinner. -let me call the son as 'boy' esp in this post-
and..
my mam and the boy's mam asked me to have seat on the backpart of my car..with the boy. just me and the boy. -__-
i'd never met the boy before..but fortunatelly he's friendly and has so many topics to talk. phew.
we're on the car for about 30 minutes,,
then..we had dinner together.
we talked much (my parents told about me, and boy's parents talked about him..etc -__-)..we laughed..my stomach's full and i's happy :D
suddenly, i looked at my pink t-shirt, OH MY GOD!!
i was seeing that just the most upper button had already buttoned up. the others're not! wth wtf..i was gonna cry. mama~~
THEN..
on the way to back to my home..
i sit still with the boy..i prefer keep silent.. took a bow. just be silent.. so embarrasing. he talked to me and asked something but i was too shy to answer.
-___-
clumsy anne
now..he studies in brawijaya university take dentistry.
i wish i'd never meet him there.
huwang.
countdown: 8days left
prepare prepare prepare prepare.
Im preparing for examination.
Huaaaang. ::crying::
These days..my brain automatically thought something with formula-based view.
E.g. : im pretty tired now. Ive just said to myself "oh anne, there are too many lactic acid in ur legs." then, Lactic acid made me remember to alcohol,,both are anaerob metabolism of glucose..but the difference both them is acetal dehide..
Ok.i'll stop this lecture..
Am i crazy?
lol
yesterday.
When i was riding my motorcycle..i saw the shadow of my moto..i thought so many things, about velocity, speed, distance, movement, instantaneous velocity, angular velocity,etc
oh my God!
When i sam my face in mirror..look! There are so many formulas on my face
..overthinking
Yes.
.
.
Im going to take a nap..
Bbye.
Im preparing for examination.
Huaaaang. ::crying::
These days..my brain automatically thought something with formula-based view.
E.g. : im pretty tired now. Ive just said to myself "oh anne, there are too many lactic acid in ur legs." then, Lactic acid made me remember to alcohol,,both are anaerob metabolism of glucose..but the difference both them is acetal dehide..
Ok.i'll stop this lecture..
Am i crazy?
lol
yesterday.
When i was riding my motorcycle..i saw the shadow of my moto..i thought so many things, about velocity, speed, distance, movement, instantaneous velocity, angular velocity,etc
oh my God!
When i sam my face in mirror..look! There are so many formulas on my face
..overthinking
Yes.
.
.
Im going to take a nap..
Bbye.
im just an ordinary indonesian girl :)
indonesian girls
.in my sight. are famous with traditional characteristic.
Indonesian girl still shows the point of the real woman
They are kind of woman who think that women are created to walk behind the men.
They will not cry in front of the men, in order to show to the men that they are still alright.
lil hipocrispy? :)
Indonesian girls..will say 'im okay' eventho they are really in low condition of life
Indonesian girls..prefer keep silent and keep 'the love' in their heart, they are too shy to say love first..
They like to see 'prince charming..the boy she loves', than run to him and say hello.
They like to show their love by care and attention to others, not by schmoozer's words.
:)
im indonesian girl.
And the silly things ive done these days..are let this feeling fall to deep. I gave too much 'let'
I realized thats my fault..
so i decided to kill 'this feeling'
And be an ordinary indonesian girl again.
Just 'wait' and 'see'..
:)
.in my sight. are famous with traditional characteristic.
Indonesian girl still shows the point of the real woman
They are kind of woman who think that women are created to walk behind the men.
They will not cry in front of the men, in order to show to the men that they are still alright.
lil hipocrispy? :)
Indonesian girls..will say 'im okay' eventho they are really in low condition of life
Indonesian girls..prefer keep silent and keep 'the love' in their heart, they are too shy to say love first..
They like to see 'prince charming..the boy she loves', than run to him and say hello.
They like to show their love by care and attention to others, not by schmoozer's words.
:)
im indonesian girl.
And the silly things ive done these days..are let this feeling fall to deep. I gave too much 'let'
I realized thats my fault..
so i decided to kill 'this feeling'
And be an ordinary indonesian girl again.
Just 'wait' and 'see'..
:)
whateva
T.T
what have i done?
today
there's something that made me shocked
when one of my friend..my classmate..she's gf of my ex-bf now, said something to me.
lol.
lil complicated i think..
well.. i think i have no control to take myself in to their love life
i dig their relation ship..
i always try to keep my relation to both of them
they are still my classmate
and my story with my ex-bf is just a past..
everything i do to both of them is because they are still my classmate,, i never had any thought about doing something good in order to take their heart,,
oh my gosh, i never thought like that.. T.T
why i write this post..
coz..ok..back to what ive got today
she said (i dont know she said it seriously or just joke)
she said to my friends and me"haha, huh, anne i know..u just pretend showing ur kindness to me, u just wanna take my heart...... "
i was shocked.
-__-
why she said like that?
am i wrong if i thought like what i write here?
i could make conclusion that she considered all of the things ive done to her, all because i wanna take her heart..to show her that im kind girl.
that's wrong!!
i did something to her, all were same as i did to others, especially my classmates..
i love them all my classmates
:)
kk..whateva she thought about me,,
who cares.
:)
i just wanna enjoy my life..
what have i done?
today
there's something that made me shocked
when one of my friend..my classmate..she's gf of my ex-bf now, said something to me.
lol.
lil complicated i think..
well.. i think i have no control to take myself in to their love life
i dig their relation ship..
i always try to keep my relation to both of them
they are still my classmate
and my story with my ex-bf is just a past..
everything i do to both of them is because they are still my classmate,, i never had any thought about doing something good in order to take their heart,,
oh my gosh, i never thought like that.. T.T
why i write this post..
coz..ok..back to what ive got today
she said (i dont know she said it seriously or just joke)
she said to my friends and me"haha, huh, anne i know..u just pretend showing ur kindness to me, u just wanna take my heart...... "
i was shocked.
-__-
why she said like that?
am i wrong if i thought like what i write here?
i could make conclusion that she considered all of the things ive done to her, all because i wanna take her heart..to show her that im kind girl.
that's wrong!!
i did something to her, all were same as i did to others, especially my classmates..
i love them all my classmates
:)
kk..whateva she thought about me,,
who cares.
:)
i just wanna enjoy my life..
trashed and scattered -___-
i like this avenged song..
but i think the lyrics are too heavy, too hard for me..
for an ordinary indonesian girl.
hahaha..
ohh..this post, proves me that i cant keep my fingers from going online.
oh gosh
---trashed and scattered---
Keep on writing you're just raping yourself
(nothing can take my mind away from them)
Don't you ask about me, ask 'bout somebody else
(Once I've fallen there's many stories to tell)
I can feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far you take it
(Stuck in a state of questioning)
And don't you tell me you know we're destined, you won't convince me, I won't listen
(Resentment building, you've put our lives on hold)
Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination always unknown, I'll find my way there
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time
I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control
Play your game and walk away, your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out
Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else
(Nothing in front of me but holes ahead)
Lie about my life, have a story to tell
(Lights went down, was on the edge and I fell)
Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me, should make you worried
(Long way to go and you're right there)
Two-faced liar, don't try and know me, deceit brings fire, makes sure you can't breathe
(Pick at pieces of my body below)
I never bothered with all the rumors, too much garbage
(All the same)
I'll stand right here, come on you falsehood deceitful liar
(I know my destination - there's no shame)
Don't ever take my side, I know you're never right, I'll justify the means
(Nothing's what it seems)
I'll stand around and fight, but there's no point tonight, been chained to this machine
Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination's always unknown, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Imposter are you out of your mind?
I walk down these roads alone and now you're seen here
My feelings that I'm having towards you are perfectly clear (I control this ride)
My devils appetite is tonight and now I'm alright
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time
Play your game and walk away, your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out
I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control
Don't try and get the best of me
(No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache
(Lonely, don't try and prey on me)
I feel your world keep dying, (Don't try and get the best of me)
(No one can help but your own self)
No more use in tryin' (City makes my body ache)
(Lonely, don't try and prey on me)
And my body's trashed and low, but to you I'll never show myself or what's inside
And I've seen it all before but I'll settle the score, I'll never join your side
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq4CGInWpjc
listen the song!!
:D
but i think the lyrics are too heavy, too hard for me..
for an ordinary indonesian girl.
hahaha..
ohh..this post, proves me that i cant keep my fingers from going online.
oh gosh
---trashed and scattered---
Keep on writing you're just raping yourself
(nothing can take my mind away from them)
Don't you ask about me, ask 'bout somebody else
(Once I've fallen there's many stories to tell)
I can feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far you take it
(Stuck in a state of questioning)
And don't you tell me you know we're destined, you won't convince me, I won't listen
(Resentment building, you've put our lives on hold)
Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination always unknown, I'll find my way there
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time
I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control
Play your game and walk away, your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out
Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else
(Nothing in front of me but holes ahead)
Lie about my life, have a story to tell
(Lights went down, was on the edge and I fell)
Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me, should make you worried
(Long way to go and you're right there)
Two-faced liar, don't try and know me, deceit brings fire, makes sure you can't breathe
(Pick at pieces of my body below)
I never bothered with all the rumors, too much garbage
(All the same)
I'll stand right here, come on you falsehood deceitful liar
(I know my destination - there's no shame)
Don't ever take my side, I know you're never right, I'll justify the means
(Nothing's what it seems)
I'll stand around and fight, but there's no point tonight, been chained to this machine
Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination's always unknown, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Imposter are you out of your mind?
I walk down these roads alone and now you're seen here
My feelings that I'm having towards you are perfectly clear (I control this ride)
My devils appetite is tonight and now I'm alright
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time
Play your game and walk away, your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out
I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control
Don't try and get the best of me
(No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache
(Lonely, don't try and prey on me)
I feel your world keep dying, (Don't try and get the best of me)
(No one can help but your own self)
No more use in tryin' (City makes my body ache)
(Lonely, don't try and prey on me)
And my body's trashed and low, but to you I'll never show myself or what's inside
And I've seen it all before but I'll settle the score, I'll never join your side
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq4CGInWpjc
listen the song!!
:D
can i still offline till march 22 ?
i have to prepare my final examination.
:)
haha
i like the piano playing
thanks
richard clayderman - Ballade Pour Adeline
hahahaha